“When Your Card Declines” TikTok trend - Therapist Reacts

April 4, 2024 Ronald Hoang

Yikes. Makes me feel bad as a therapist. I don't want clients to have to go through that. But I also know what its like for therapists working in the field - more later.

Trauma occurs in the absence of an empathetic witness. Part of what is happening for these people sharing their trauma on tiktok is they are looking for that empathetic witness in order to heal from their trauma. Firstly, from their primary trauma - the issue that brought them to see a therapist, secondly, from their secondary trauma - being abandoned at a time of need because they were unable to afford therapy.

Is it a good or bad trend? These creators are having their “cup” filled to the top with nowhere else to empty it but online. It’s a double edged sword. It can be positive in one sense, in that people can find comfort in similar experiences of others. But my concern is that it can be re-traumatizing, for the creator who is sharing and for the viewers watching. And at a time where they may not be able to access help, this can make the trauma worse as they may find themselves more alone with the trauma and not making progress.

But they are pointing out a larger societal issue, which is the affordability of mental health services. Typically the more affordable options for therapy come from community mental health services, but the issue is they often have long waitlists and the clinicians are overworked and underpaid. Whereas if you seek a therapist in private practice, it’s more expensive and clients may not be able to continue to afford therapy on a long-term basis, leaving clients without support and having to stop treatment (hence the tiktok trend). Private health insurance caps the number of sessions available to clients, so we see clients use up their quota for the year, then they turn to private practice whilst they wait for their quota to be available once again - but this creates a disruption in accessing treatment and in some cases can slow progress down and do more damage than good.

This is not just about personal trauma, but a wider societal issue that is perpetuating mental health issues.