Over 70% Cheat at Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties | Relationship Therapist Reacts

Over 70% cheat at bachelor/bachelorette parties. That's a mindblowing number.

Firstly, how do you define cheating? Many couples simply assume the same definition of cheating, not knowing it varies greatly from person to person. Some say sex is cheating, others say a kiss, some say watching porn is cheating, others say simply a text or even a “like” is cheating. For some, all of this is fair game. Is hiring a stripper cheating? Or not?

At the very core of betrayal is secrecy. Without secrecy, it's consensual. By outwardly negotiating your relational contract you clarify your boundaries and circumvent secrecy. Its the secrecy that leads to feelings of betrayal.

Whilst bachelor/bachelorette parties do present the opportunity to cheat, ultimately it comes down to boundaries - firstly, defining those boundaries and then sticking to them. When boundaries are blurred or crossed that's when betrayal or cheating occurs. 

My advice for couples would be to clearly outline your boundaries for what is and is not acceptable. Start with your "yes"s - defining your "yes" is an effective way of defining your "no", it's expansive rather than constraining. When partners feel constrained they feel controlled and when people feel controlled they want to break out of that control. 

Cheating at bachelor/bachelorette parties can occur when partners are not actually happy about the relationship. They agree to marriage under duress, and the party presents an opportunity which then turns into an expression of their discontent for the relationship.

The environment itself facilitates cheating by presenting the opportunity, and is encouraged by the social pressure from friends combined with the cultural perception of bachelor/bachelorettes that almost make it acceptable to betray your partner. The idea that it's the "last night of freedom" suggests that getting married is a bad thing and that the opportunity should be taken advantage of. When really it should be about unity and coming together.