Why you keep attracting the wrong partner

You’re in a relationship with a clone of your ex, the same person, same problems, same outcome.  

You’ve been through multiple partners now, the common denominator? You 

There is a connection between our frustrations in adult relationships and early childhood experiences. As adults, we subconsciously seek corrective emotional experiences – we seek out our missing childhood experiences as a way to heal the suffering endured as a child. 

So when you’re relationship problems feel familiar. Youre dating the same partner with the same problems, and it’s an encore of life with your parents. There’s a reason.  

We are attracted to our unfinished business. There’s safety and comfort in the familiar, even when it hurts. 

Whilst you’re searching and you feel like “not my type”, “boring”, your subconscious is saying – this relationship won’t make me suffer the way I need to suffer so that I can heal my childhood wounds. 

There is growth in suffering, but when you get stuck, then that becomes a problem. 

When we are driven by our unfinished business we’re unable to lead the lives we desire. By understanding your missing childhood experiences and learning to meet those needs yourself, you unchain yourself. Know that love and relationships are not about finding someone to make you happy, it’s about finding someone to share a life with. The more whole and complete you are, the better the prospects for your relationship. 

The idea that you’re “attracting” the wrong partner is already an issue. It’s passive. Like the myth that you “fall in love”, your agency is lost. It takes two people create a relationship, you are in some way part of the equation, whether you’re conscious of it or not – you are in part choosing your partners too.  

And don’t count on the idea that you can get into bad relationships and change your partner. The only thing we truly have control over in our lives is ourselves. 

Know that each relationship is a stepping stone towards finding your life partner. Every person you encounter in life is your teacher, there is always a lesson to be learnt.