Can a Situationship Become a Relationship?

Situationships are romantic relationships that involve spending time together and engaging in sexual activity but the commitment to one another is low - there is no label for the relationship. Situationship are a type of relationship that essentially lacks the commitment piece. 

Signs of situationship include: the relationship doesn’t progress and there’s no evidence of being a committed couple, you’re not involved in one another's lives - not each other’s plus one to special events, you don’t go on actual dates and the connection is surface level (you don’t venture deeper into each other’s lives), there’s a lack of commitment to one another - plans are inconsistent, there’s no future talk - projecting the relationship into future and you haven’t had the “define the relationship” talk.

Can a situationship become a relationship? If you’re feeling an “itch” it would be time to scratch. There’s no set time of when to have the “define the relationship” talk. Too many people decide to live in disappointment rather than risk feeling disappointed, so they never have the talk or they leave it too late. Disappointment is an incredible opportunity for meaningful connection, or if things don’t work out, then at least you know where you stand.

The “define the relationship” talk should ideally be open, authentic, non-judgemental and without pressure. It should involve defining where you stand in the relationship and comparing your position with there your partner is at, whilst considering whether there is a future or not - the underlying conversations is “how committed to this relationship are we?”

Studies have shown that situationships are less satisfying than being in a committed relationship. Humans are social beings, we need to be in relationship with one another. And people want to be with partners who are accessible, responsive and engaged, and this often means there is a certain level of commitment, which is not apparent with situationships.

But if you’re not looking for commitment, maybe you’re more independent or you’re not wanting to settle, then a situationship is exactly the right relationship for you.